OF URGENCY

Hello, my goodly, goodest, bestest, dear friend.

I write to you with the greatest of expectations and in full, greatly, bestest confidences. I have sent to you my investment proposal from the center of Nigeria... uh, well, New England. My name is Mark Sanchez. I have been wounded in battle and I am pleading for your kindnessest of attentionisms. I wish to propose to send to you, my dearest, bestest of friends, 28 million USD (guaranteed) from my account directly to your account so that I may relocate to USC, USA so that I may recover from my wartime injuries that are the result of Jet failures and intruding Patriot blitzes and onslaughts. This is not a hoax, nor a scam, as I have heard of from coming from Nigeria, Bullshitislovia and Screwmeiamanidiotistan.

I am willing to pay, my dearest, bestest of friends, with the 28M and my right arm. Neither are doing me any goodnesseseses.

Am awaiting your most promptest of prompt replies, promptly. I can be reached at sanchezoopala.jets.egotoolargenohumilityhotdog.help.please.

Signed, your dearest of dear friends, with friendshiply friendliness of sincere sincerity,

Maj. Sgt. ret, Gn[rjyuehtpg,fffppgffg;pkghotrSanchez